he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
