4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
no more duck duck goose at the bar
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
