Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
