could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Sext me about skeletons
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
