im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
