Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
