i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
