i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
