SEEEEXXX PLEASE
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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