When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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