i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
As shirtless as possible
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
