highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
