Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
