thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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