My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I FOUND THE LEGS
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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