I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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