I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
