How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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