she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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