happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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