Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
