Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
