Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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