She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
