I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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