you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
