When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
we're making bets on your personal life
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
