you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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