i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
