i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
My vagina just recognized that song.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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