i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
