he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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