if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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