there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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