Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
