Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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