the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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