I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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