There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
