The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
