Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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