If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
