the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
