strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
