you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
