I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize
