yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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