i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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