All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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