It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
